oh{FISH}iee: Dear Diary | January 2024 Edition

Happy New Year! ❤❤❤

H E L L O , 2 0 2 4. || It marks the beginning of a fresh, untouched chapter in our lives – a blank page in a 366-page book waiting to be written. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts - I am excited for a fresh beginning!

♦ Celebrate beginnings ♦

♦ Indulge in comforts ♦

♦ Focus on optimism ♦

♦ Seek out sunshine ♦

♦ Feel your feelings ♦

First meal of the year @ "聚" Ju Signatures Dim Sum

01.01.2024 | Happy to kickstart the year with some delicious Cantonese-style dim sum. The polo bun and prawn dumpling here are worth a try! Unfortunately, the rest of the items taste just mediocre.

kemuri - Yakitori Omakase

06.01.2024 | First time having the premium yakitori in an omakase style under an exquisite setting. Lovin' the experience here! Feel free to read my full review on my blog.

09.01.2024 | Feeling refreshed to be back to the new office space - clean, sleek and futuristic! A good source of motivation hopefully.

Thank you Hong Kong for the memories. ❤

20.01.2024 - 24.01.2024 | First trip of the year - Hong Kong! It feels like home; a place that I have been for so many times, a place that reminds me of the stories I have been hearing from for the past 2 years...

// Read more about my Hong Kong trip here. //

Happy to be able to spend a slow 5D4N here, and accomplish my mission of the trip - Standard Chartered Hong Kong Marathon 2024 - my first overseas marathon amidst the cold 16°C weather. And it also marks my first time experiencing HK in its lowest temperature of 7°C.

Strolling along the streets of Tai Hang, queuing for my favourite egg tarts and teddy bear cookies, sitting on the tram for the bustling night view, visiting the temple, etc - These are the things that I have been hearing about for the past 2 years, and now every moment of this rings a bell in my mind :)

I can feel the presence of yours in every location I went. And thank you for painting such a beautiful picture of the city and allowing me to experience what you’ve experienced all these while. Thanks for sharing your happy place with me 😇

27.01.2024 | Homebound. So glad to be back to my safe space despite the ever rising air fare. Needed this therapeutic trip as a quick escape from the ongoing drama in life.

❤ ❤ ❤

J A N U A R Y // Chapter 1 of 12

January has been a long, heart-wrecking month. I don't know where to begin, but I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. Every day has been filled with anxiety and discomfort in the heart, yet there is no avenue I could pour such emotions to. The nightmare lasts throughout the month, and I finally wake up from it towards the end of month. It's time to put the 3-weeks worth of suffocation into an end...

No amount of regret changes the past.

No amount of anxiety changes the future.

But any amount of gratitude changes the present.

I understand these principles very well. While I am immensely sorry for my self-destructive decisions, I should face these mistakes as stepping stones that are guiding me towards wisdom, resilience and self-discovery. These lessons slap me hard in the face and it will take a long time towards recovery, both physically and mentally. But, thank you people who have been sticking around with me and are ever willing to embrace my imperfections. I am grateful for having such unconditional support at one of the lowest points in life.

I finally learn that achieving different milestones in life is meaningless without the right person to celebrate such milestones together. And trying to meet milestones in life only limit your happiness and your potentials in achieving even more in a long run. I have put in so much thoughts into "chasing the big things" but I failed to appreciate the importance of the fundamentals / building blocks of these big things. Ultimately, having a supportive partner like having a best friend who will not judge you for your mistakes, traumas, and life choices is more crucial than "ticking off the checklist". I hope that the future me, when reading this, will constantly be reminded of this principle.

And I learn that we should not rely on someone else for our own happiness, as true happiness comes from within and only then can we bring someone else along for the ride. Someone needs to complement us, not complete us.

Hopefully the upcoming months in 2024 will be the time for me to get to know myself better -- to walk in solitude, to listen to my thoughts to realign them with my values, to self-soothe and seek comfort from within, to only reserve a place in my life to people who have earned it with effort and enthusiasm.

After all the years, I need to remind myself that it is okay to be alone, because all of us need a break in this beautiful world alone to figure everything out once again. I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, but it is not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.

Once you start loving your own presence,

you stop chasing people in your life.